is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
