Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
