Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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