Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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