i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
