I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
