Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize