youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize