the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
