I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
