Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am puke
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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