You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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