I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
