Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
