did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
