either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
