if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
