Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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