so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
