Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
