its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
