I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
