Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
