Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I would fuck him just for his dog
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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