we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
