Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize