just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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