I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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