Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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