Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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