Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize