i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
