I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
