so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
