ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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