Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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