The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
