she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
