so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
