i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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