uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
