I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
