I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
