i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
