I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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