Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
