you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize