why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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