oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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