I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
