I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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