He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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