There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
