What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
nutella sex= disaster
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
