onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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