I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
