I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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