Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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