You work out of a Hotel?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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