I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
