You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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