Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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