i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize