My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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