definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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