Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
