i think i have herpe
just one?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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