u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize