i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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