life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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