God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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